Are BIKES the new BEARS?

My fear of the bike has reached epic proportions.  It is now almost equal to my fear of bears!  I am notorious among those who know me for my debilitating fear of bears.  Some may say it borders on obsession.  And yet I have camped and hiked, often alone, in bear-populated areas all over the country, including Yellowstone and Alaska.  I refuse to let my fear prevent me from enjoying amazing places and activities I love.  I actually went to Katmai in Alaska, which has the highest concentration of grizzlies in North America, to face my fears.  But often when I am hiking and camping in bear country, I am hyper-aware and on edge.

Facing my fears in Alaska.

Likewise, I will not let my bike fear keep me from participating in activities I love, and I will in fact train for an Ironman (apparently) to face my fear.  But Karin and I did a 17-mile ride today, and for the first 5 miles my stomach was in knots.  There was so much traffic, and it seemed every side street had drivers rushing out into the bike lane before they even thought to look my way.  I was clipped in and terrified.  There just seemed to be danger everywhere, and it seemed that I was just narrowly avoiding disaster at every turn.  This is what road biking feels like for me: Like the odds are against me and I am just barely surviving from moment to moment.  Like sleeping alone in a tent in grizzly country and suddenly realizing you left a Snickers in your pocket.  Then when we finally got away from the traffic, there was a long descent and that scared the crap out of me too.

Facing my fears on the bike.

I spent time in bear country plenty without much fear, then it seemed to come on suddenly and obsessively when I started spending more time camping solo in bear-populated areas.  I was car-less and got around almost exclusively by bike for 4 years here in Phoenix, and though I was always very aware of drivers and dangers, I did not have this debilitating fear until I started training for the Ironman.

I sometimes feel like I am afraid of everything, and that may actually be very close to the truth.  However,  I have never let fear prevent me from doing what I want.  But usually one faces their fears only occasionally, or even just once, gets past them to accomplish something, and moves on.  But in this case, I have to face the fear at least a few times a week, for at least a year, to accomplish my goal.

The only safe way to ride a bike!